I’ve been asking myself this question a lot lately.
Have you ever wondered why so many people abandon their goals just before the magic happens? Some quit before they see a single result, while others walk away even after achieving real progress. This pattern fascinates me and makes me wonder: What’s really going on in the human mind that drives us to sabotage our own success? I’ve done extensive research and found some of the main reasons that most of us don’t stick with a more abundant path in life.
Let’s explore the 5 main reasons people give up on self-improvement:
1.) They forget why they started in the first place:
A lot of people dive into self-improvement without really knowing why they’re doing it. Maybe a YouTuber’s motivational rant got you fired up, or your best friend won’t stop raving about their new gym routine—and suddenly, you’re hitting the treadmill, too. But a few weeks in, the excitement fades. The gym starts feeling like a chore, and you’re left asking yourself, “What was I even doing this for?”
Don’t get me wrong—being inspired is great and powerful enough to motivate us to want to do better in life. But inspiration alone isn’t enough. You need a clear, personal “why” behind your goals. Why are you chasing this change? Without a real, internal reason that matters to you, it’s easy to lose steam and motivation. And when the excitement fades—as it always does—so does your motivation to keep going.
How to solve this? Figure out YOUR why! Learn how to do that by reading my article here.
2.) They throw in the towel too quickly.
You read that one book a little bit each day for a month, did a 30-day Pilates wall challenge, meditated for 10 minutes/day for like a week, stopped yourself from spending on that new designer bag. So, why the hell are you not a hot, Zen, wealthy, mastermind already?!
It seems like a cruel joke, but unfortunately, things take time to form. It’s a whole lot of nothing in the beginning, until one day you start to feel stronger, confident, and smarter, which motivates you to continue to improve. Don’t get defeated when you don’t see progress for a while. Just make sure you’re putting in your dues, and someday, they’ll pay off.
3.) Some people attempt to master the art of self-sabotage.
Some people (definitely not me, obviously…) try to conduct a revolutionary change IN ALL AREAS OF THEIR LIVES at the same damn time! This is the best way to set yourself up for failure. If you are that anxious and ambitious to do this, then the best strategy is to start to build habits that will benefit multiple different areas of your life. Habits like eating well, exercising, prayer/meditation, journaling, and sleeping 7–8 hours are the bread and butter of self-improvement. In order to feel decent at all, you’ll need to take care of your mental and physical health. This will allow you to feel good in all areas of your life.
Then you can figure out your own set of specific desires and priorities and start with one, MAYBE two areas at first if you’re easily overwhelmed. Not saying that it isn’t possible to change multiple areas of your life at the same time because it is possible! That is, if you’re 100% willing to keep at it and put in the effort needed to sustain your new lifestyle right off the bat. Otherwise, small, sustainable change is the most successful route to take here, believe me.
4.) Some mistake consuming vast amounts of knowledge, products, and services as producing results in their lives.
Some people spend five or more years in therapy without seeing real progress. For them, “going to therapy” becomes part of their identity rather than a path to change. Here’s the hard truth: At some point, you have to move beyond the first steps and actually reach your goals. Therapy—or any growth journey—should eventually lead to transformation, and then you should shift into maintenance mode to maintain your new, healthier identity. Don’t let this become a permanent holding pattern that keeps you stuck, unable to move forward and achieve greatness.
You see a lot of this in the self-help world: collecting endless workbooks, courses, planners, and memberships, hoping they’ll magically turn you into a new person in 30 days. But real change doesn’t work like that. If you want lasting transformation, you’ve got to show up and do the work consistently. That’s the secret. Not the shiny tools but your commitment to the process.
Consuming tricks you into thinking that you are making progress, when you’re not doing shit. As nice as it would be, you can’t transform through other people teaching the basics of goal setting and how to eliminate self-sabotage. What goes in must come out. I’ve learned the hard way, if you want the results, then you have to serve your time in the prison of discipline just like every other happy, successful person out there. Don’t fret, though! It gradually becomes more enjoyable, and once that dopamine starts to hit regularly from accomplishing small goals each day, you’ll end up shifting your desires to only want to produce rather than consume.
5.) Not knowing when their “cup” is full.
From the outside, it looks like you have it all—a job at a leading branding agency, a loving family, a beautiful home. By all accounts, your cup should be overflowing. Yet, deep down, it feels half empty. Something still feels missing.
How can you avoid getting stuck in a loop like this? Goal setting! Break your big goals into small, achievable goals. Bite-sized pieces, if you will. This way, you won’t get overwhelmed out of the jump and end up throwing in the towel before seeing any real results.
Having a goal or goals will allow you to identify when you are content with your achievement and allow you to track your progress. After a certain point in your journey, any further effort you put in will start yielding minimal, mediocre results. It’s important to remember your “why” during this phase so that you don’t give up.
The best approach to take is to clarify what your ideal state is (spiritually, financially, physically, socially, and mentally), work towards that, and then you can allow your cup to overflow with even more abundance and gratitude.
Conclusion: We are all guilty of one or more of the examples above. You’ve got to put in the work if you want to start seeing consistent, positive results!
Nothing to be ashamed of! These mistakes are a right of passage in the realm of self-improvement. I went through them, and I have noticed plenty of others who struggled with these things and still do at times. If you’re serious about your metamorphosis, you’ll eventually see the error of your ways and come to the light.
So buckle up, because this is going to be the longest, strangest trip of your entire life! It’s a bitch at times, but in the end, it’s worth it.