How to face fear; The ONLY time it’s okay to lie, cheat and steal!
I’m sure you’re saying to yourself, “This chick is saying it’s okay to lie, cheat and steal? What kind of blog am I reading here?!”
Yes, I’m saying there is one instance it is indeed okay to lie, cheat, and steal! I’m not referring to lying, cheating, or stealing in a relationship of any sort. This article is not telling you to go to the nearest store and steal anything, either, because I am not condoning any of this irresponsible behavior. I’m talking about lying, cheating, and stealing from your mind for your benefit!
I learned this technique from Marisa Peer, a British therapist, motivational speaker, best-selling author, and the creator of Rapid Transformational Therapy, otherwise known as “RTT.” One of her many brilliant tips is to lie to your brain, cheat fear, and steal back the happiness and confidence we were born with!
1.) The only time it is okay to lie: Telling your brain you are excited to do something you actually hate. Your mind is one hell of a drug.
We’ve all had to do something that we didn’t want to do or were afraid of doing at one point or another. Hell, I’m pretty sure that doing stuff we don’t want to do makes up like 75% of adulthood. Did you know that your brain can’t tell the difference between fear and excitement? That’s right! The same feeling you get when you are having a moment of pure bliss has the same chemical makeup in your brain as experiencing a moment of terror. This is why it is possible to trick your brain into believing you are actually excited rather than afraid of doing something. Even if you don’t believe what you’re saying to your brain, it will not know the difference. Sounds weird, right? I think it’s pretty incredible how our brains operate.
For example, let’s say that you had to give a speech in front of a large group of people like my 7-year-old daughter did effortlessly last month. She was chosen to read her class pledge in front of the ENTIRE school during an assembly and she was stoked! To be honest, she didn’t even express any sort of fear when telling her dad and I that she was chosen, so I didn’t add any sort of fear or doubt into her mind by questioning if she was nervous or not. I didn’t want to give her the chance to second guess herself. She was confident, cool, and collected. The way we all wish we were when it comes to public speaking.
Let’s say that you aren’t excited about giving this speech like my kid was. You picture yourself getting tongue tied in front of all of those people, and that tip that your aunt Sherri gave you to picture the audience naked just isn’t cutting it. As a matter of fact, just thinking about it gives you butterflies. We all know butterflies can go either way. You can get them from something you’re excited about or something you’re nervous about, but let’s be real, either way they eventually create a reaction in your body that makes you feel like you have to take a nervous poo. Point being, turn these nervous butterflies into excited ones by telling yourself how excited you are to get this shit over with! Seriously, you don’t have to be excited about the task itself, just be excited about how relieved and proud you’ll feel once it’s all done and over with.
It may sound asinine to some, but I have personally tried this technique while at the dentist, and believe it or not, while he was shoving that gigantic needle into my gums to numb the area he was about to work on, it actually helped to distract myself by saying, “I’m so excited to get this over with! I’ve got this!” instead of succumbing to my fears. Try it next time you’re in a situation that you’re not so fond of!
Note: no, I am not saying that this works for ALL fearsome situations. Although this technique works for some people, it may not work for everyone!
2.) The second way to face fear is simply by cheating fear itself by facing it head on: take back your control.
Another way to face fear is by facing that shizz head on, therefore cheating it! If there’s something you don’t want to do, but you have to do it, get it out of the way as soon as possible so you can move forward. Don’t keep dwelling on it allowing it have power over you. Pro tip: think of something exciting you can do to relax after completing whatever daunting task. Like, if you have a dinner date with your best friend after your doctor’s appointment you’ve been putting off for forever, just think about how amazing it’s going to feel knowing you’ve successfully completed something important, eating your favorite food with one of your favorite humans. You could say something to yourself like, “I’m so excited to meet up with my friend after this and eat my favorite food! Oh, and to top that off, I did the damn thing!”
This way, you are picturing yourself relaxing after you’ve overcome your fear and completed a daunting task. Therefore, you’re picturing yourself surviving said task.
Simple, right?
Again, your brain doesn’t know the difference between whether you’re scared or excited. So, if you start saying things to yourself, or out loud like, “I’m so excited to get this over with!” “I’ve got this. It’ll be over before I know it.” it’ll be much easier to deal with than saying to yourself, “Oh, my God this is terrifying. I hate this. I can’t wait until this is over.”
The way we speak to ourselves is one of the most important things that we need to be mindful of. Our thoughts can literally change the direction of our lives either for better or for worse. As the saying goes, your thoughts create your actions and your actions dictate the course of your life. The choice is ours! I don’t know about you, but I’d rather practice positive self-talk and be kind to myself, rather than being my own worst enemy and turning my life into a living hell. I’ve done that plenty in the past and it’s f*cking exhausting.
3.) The only time it is okay to steal: Stealing back the happiness and remarkable confidence you were born with!
We are all born with immense amounts of happiness and confidence. As Marisa explains, “When we are in the womb, we have room service 24/7, food on tap, we are connected to someone, we feel comfortable and safe. We come into this world as abundant creatures!” It is only over time through our trauma that most of this abundance is stripped from us resulting in limiting beliefs as well as how we respond to our environment and the negative situations we experience.
To obtain this amount of abundance again, we need to steal back our happiness, confidence, and bravery by facing our fears head on and working through any limiting beliefs you may have. You deserve to be happy! Abundance is a necessity, a way of life that so many are unaware they can have if they simply start changing their thoughts. Once you change your thoughts, you’ll begin to change your actions, which will change your reality, creating a beautiful life.
In conclusion, these three steps will help you face and overcome almost any fear. Keep in mind, it may not work for everyone or for every situation, but it’s worth a shot for some pesky fears! It’s time to take control of your life and stop letting fear run the show.
So, what are you waiting for?! Give these empowering tools to overcome fear a try and feel free to share in the comments how they work or don’t work for you.